Nervousness VS the Active Pause

November 21, 2013 in Delivery, Greg Owen-Boger, Nervousness, Presentation

greg_owen-boger_hi-res_colorI was working with an extremely nervous presenter in a recent Mastering Your Presentations workshop. She described her presentation experience like this: “My head races and swirls, and then it switches back on itself. I know that words are coming out of my mouth, but I don’t have any control over them. I must sound like an idiot.”

We hear that sort of thing a lot. This presenter is not alone.

The path forward for this presenter was clear. There would be no improvement if we couldn’t find a way for her to manage her nerves. Notice that I write “manage” and not “eliminate.” There’s little I can do or say to a nervous person that will eliminate their nerves. The root cause of the nervousness and the psychological and physiological responses people have is too deeply ingrained in who they are.

What I can do is help them manage the nervousness so that it can be worked through. Over time, their ability to work through their nervousness will lessen its effect on them.

So, back to our workshop participant. Let’s call her Beth. Beth is a smart, articulate analyst. I noticed before the class started as she bantered with the other attendees that she was funny and charming.

But once she got up in front of the class during the first exercise, she crumbled inside. “I feel so dumb,” she said.

The other class participants came to her rescue. “No, you’re not dumb. Not at all. What you said made perfect sense.”

Beth replied, “But that’s the problem. I don’t know what I said.”

I stepped in. “Beth, your brain is a good one. You wouldn’t be in your current role if you weren’t smart. When you’re in a low-stakes conversation with someone at work, do you feel in control of your thoughts?”

She answered that she did.

“So what we need to figure out is what you can do when you’re under pressure that will help you gain control so that you’re as comfortable as you are in regular low-stakes conversations. We’re going to start with a pausing exercise.”

I instructed that when I raise my hand, she is to pause.

She started talking about a current project she was working on. I raised my hand. She did what many people do, she froze.

“Let’s stop,” I said. I went on to explain that a pause shouldn’t be like hitting the pause button on a DVR. “This is an active pause. You should breathe and think. Gather your thoughts. When you’re ready, you can begin speaking again.”

She tried it, and eventually she settled into the conversation. Her personality started to peek through and her description of the project was clear.

“Were you in control of your thoughts?” I asked.

“Yes. That was amazing,” she said.

Everyone in the class agreed. The transformation, in such a brief period of time, was amazing.

In the battle between nervousness and an active pause, the active pause won.

“Here’s the deal,” I said. You’ve experienced what it’s like to pause, breathe, and gather your thoughts before moving on. Now you need to remember to do it when nervousness sets in and the stakes are high. That will require a new level of self-awareness and engagement.”

Self-awareness and engagement will be the topic for next week’s article.

By Greg Owen-Boger, VP at Turpin Communication and co-author of the upcoming book, “The Orderly Conversation”

Just Because You Said It Doesn’t Mean It Was Heard

February 13, 2013 in Author, Delivery, Greg Owen-Boger, Presentation, Training

greg 200x300“I swear I said that they’d see incremental sales growth,” said Angela as she sat down to review her video with me.

Angela was a participant in a recent Mastering Your Presentations workshop. Dale Ludwig was the lead instructor. I was the participants’ video coach. My job is to guide participants through video review, focusing on (a) what they’re doing well, (b) where they could improve, and (c) identifying skills and techniques that will work for them.

So, there was Angela (not her real name). She was confused and frustrated because her classmates claimed she hadn’t mentioned how her buyer would gain incremental sales growth if he would approve the promotion she was recommending. “That was the whole point of the presentation!” she said.

“Let’s watch the video and see,” I said. So I popped the video in and we watched.

About 20 seconds into her presentation, there it was. “See?” she said. “I knew I’d said it.”

So, if Angela had said the words why then hadn’t her classmates heard them?

The problem is that Angela wants to be perfect. She’s very concerned about looking silly and mentally monitors everything she says and does. She described it as “being in my head.” Unfortunately, this has led her to rehearse every presentation to find the “right” way to make a point.

This graphic shows a distressed presenter. Angela sees herself in the image. This presenter is thinking:

  • Did I say that correctly?disengaged-presenter
  • My voice sounds strange.
  • My hands feel heavy.
  • What’s on my next slide?

As I coached Angela, I helped her realize that merely getting the words out isn’t enough. She must say them to SOMEONE. She needs to look people in the eye (not over their heads as she’d been told), see their faces, look for their understanding, and react accordingly. This is the same thing that happens in everyday low-stakes conversations. But for Angela, the pressure of having to deliver a perfect presentation pulls her out of the moment and into her head.

On the other hand, this presenter has an outward focus. He’s:engaged_presenter

  • Speaking with his audience, not at them
  • In the moment
  • Seeing faces and responding
  • Self-aware
  • Connected with the individuals in the room
  • In control
  • Comfortable

In short, he is engaged. He knows instinctively what to do and say, just as he does in everyday low-stakes conversations.

“This all makes sense to me,” said Angela, “but how can I do it?”

“The answer lies in turning your focus outward, toward the individuals you’re speaking with,” I said. “Take a moment to breathe and survey the room. Look them in the eye. Make the connection. Look for their reaction. Remember, this has nothing to do with your performance and everything to do with their understanding.”

“I like that,” she said. “I’m going to write that down. It’s not about my performance. It’s about them.”

Luckily for Angela, the class wasn’t over and she had another opportunity to deliver her presentation later that day. And what a difference. She was terrific. She was engaged. She made her points clearly and conversationally. She wasn’t nervous.

The proof of her success came from one of her colleagues when she said, “I finally understood what you were trying to say. Your buyer would be nuts not to approve this promotion.”

Indeed.

By Greg Owen-Boger, VP and Trainer at Turpin Communication

2013 Planning Your Training Initiatives

September 17, 2012 in Author, Dale Ludwig, Delivery, Facilitation, Greg Owen-Boger, News, Preparation, Presentation, Training

Is it really possible that summer’s over and that we’ll be heading into the 4th quarter in a couple weeks?

Wow.

If you’re like most of our clients, autumn is planning time for next year’s training initiatives. We thought we’d help you out and get the conversation started.

Here are some quick thoughts:

    • For the fourth year in a row, client-site workshop fees are staying the same in 2013.

  • We launched Find Your Focus Video. As you probably know, we have become pretty good at creating eLearning videos. Now we’re offering video production and consulting services to our clients who work in the eLearning field. This is no ordinary production service, though. What sets us apart is our on-camera coaching. If you’ve ever had to be on-camera, you know how challenging it can be. We’ll take the mystery out of it for you. Learn more here.
  • Last year we developed a more robust workshop catalog to better serve our clients. While sessions are always tailored to meet each group’s needs, we’ve made it easier to envision what your sessions might look like.  Think of these descriptions as the starting point for tailoring conversations.

Here are the workshop titles and links to their full descriptions.

Mastering Your Presentations
No-nonsense strategies for presenting and facilitating in today’s business environment

Presentation Training for Sales Professionals
Practical skills for facilitating your sales conversations

Speaking with Confidence & Clarity
Fundamental skills for the nervous or novice presenter

Presenting Globally
Getting your message across the cultural gap

Narrative Presentations
Using stories to capture and motivate your audience

Presenting & Training in a Virtual Environment
Adapting your face-to-face skills to the online world

Presentation & Facilitation Skills Training for Trainers
No-nonsense techniques for engaging today’s learners

Advanced Meeting Facilitation
Strategies for encouraging participation while controlling the process

Running Effective Meetings
Fundamental skills for beginners

  • We continue to offer public workshops. We have two-day mastery-level workshops and one-day novice-level workshops. These are excellent options for when you don’t have enough people to fill up a class of your own. Click here for details and schedule.
  • Budget and travel continue to be an obstacle for many. If this is the case for you, check out our eLearning options. Single and multi-user licenses are available

We think that covers the highlights. We look forward to 2013 and helping your presenters and facilitators find their focus, be themselves, only better.

Sincerely,

Dale & Greg
773-455-8855
773-239-2523

by Dale Ludwig, President and Trainer, and Greg Owen-Boger, VP and Trainer, at Turpin Communication